EpisodeV

Episode V: Gratitude

Episode V

Gratitude

 Today’s Words of Wisdom:

 “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” 

– The Bible… and then Abraham Lincoln

 The Foda’s take: Before you jump into the ring to fight- look very carefully at what it is you’re fighting. And then watch the barn raising scene from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers for a perfect visual (and musical!) example of what this quote means.

 Happy Thanksgiving, friends of Foda! As I begin this day of thanks slowly sipping some piping hot micro-roasted organic coffee, I’ve been pondering… what am I thankful for? It’s not so easy a question as it used to be. For the past four weeks, I’ve had a devastating relapse, and have spent the vast majority of my day on the couch, trying to keep my mind positive, active, and fulfilled while my body can’t travel. Anyone who’s ever had brain fog knows this is no easy task. The natural result is, of course, frustration, anxiety, and- let’s be real here- depression. But it wasn’t until I went to a doctor who sagely discerned that I was disassociating myself from my body that I realized how much I sometimes refuse to “live” inside my own tiny shell.

Grandstand Announcer: Step right up, ladies, and gentlemen, for the fight of your lives! Here, in one corner, is the Fabulous mind of Foda. Facing off in the other corner, feast your eyes on the fearsome Foda form – ooooooh, she looks mad! At the sound of the bell, they will attack each other with all of their might! Ready? Ding ding ding! 

Child: Mommy? Why do I only see one person fighting?

Parent: Because she’s fighting herself, Billy. 

Newsflash to me- I’ve been fighting myself this whole time? I thought I was fighting my disease! Turns out, somewhere along the way I began associating my uncooperative body with my disease, and my mind with the “real” me. How awful! How did I not realize I was doing this?? (Fumbledore says she totally told me I was. Apparently it didn’t sink in until now. Brilliant cunning vixen.) But I digress.

The point is, I am grateful for my body- flawed and weak though it may be. It has four working limbs, just waiting to be strong enough to morph back into the marathon runner I used to be. It has an expressive face, which made me (briefly) consider becoming a mime. (Very, very briefly.) It’s really good at being short and fitting into small places. And although I sometimes hate it, it’s really good at looking normal so that so long as I’m sitting down, I can pretend I’m just the same as everyone else.

My body is not good at healing itself as quickly as I would like. If you’re reading this, perhaps yours isn’t either. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t good at other things. Like- today- enjoying a delicious Thanksgiving dinner with the supportive and loving family I’m so very lucky to have! So have a wonderful day of gratitude and thanks. I am thankful that you read my words of wisdom and allowed me to share with you what I am most grateful for.

Party on,

The Foda

One thought on “Episode V: Gratitude”

  1. What a great analogy- I never made the connection between “A house divided…” and the Seven Brides number! I need to go watch that now.
    Keep focusing on the things about your body that you appreciate, even love, and your healing will grow from the inside out :)

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