Episode XVIII: Flexy-Vexy

Episode XVIII


 Today’s Words of Wisdom:

 “Flexible people don’t break.”

From a sign outside of Purple Parlor Carwash….  at least 10 years ago

 The Foda’s take: I loved this quote when I first spied it from a Dunkin’ Donuts window, while sipping some sort of “coffee” drink- which I’m certain was 50 % sugar, 40 % chocolate, and 10% coffee. (Ah, the beginning coffee years. Times of six sugar cubes and buckets of cream. Times when I realized “light and sweet” were my new best friends. Oh, how do I take it now, do you ask? So sweet of you to inquire! Like a CHAMP, that’s how I take it. Black. No sugar. Drip of soy milk. Dark roast.) (P.s. this may be the longest digression I’ve ever had.. I’m oddly quite proud of that…) Oh right! My take on the quote. Um, yeah. It’s super great.

 Welcome back, friends! Today I’d like to talk to you about a new state of being I’ve recently created. For my fellow Lymies out there, and all others dealing with a debilitating condition, you probably already know it quite well- even if you haven’t ever identified it before. This state of being occurs when you’re in a situation that requires you to be flexible. After all, flexible people can roll with the punches, be spontaneous, compromise, and are all-around fabulous to have as friends. Why? Because going with the flow allows you to be open to new experiences and connections- and that can be really fun! But what if, due to your illness, you can’t be flexible, much as you’d like to? I call this conundrum Flexy-Vexy. The state of wanting to be flexible, and being vexed when you realize….. you just can’t.

Henceforth: Flexy-Vexy.

I myself have been very Flexy-Vexied lately. For the past four months, I’ve been pretty much confined to my small apartment, only getting out for doctor’s appointments and short walks in my parking lot. And I have cabin fever like you wouldn’t believe! But there’s not much I can do about it. I can’t drive yet, can’t stand long, and so going out can be a tricky thing. I want to go out to dinner with my husband, want to see the new art gallery displays every second Saturday the next town over, want to sit on the pier and sip a dark-roasted coffee from Ella’s Bella’s– (the most amazing little pastry/coffee shop in Beacon, NY.) But while my mind’s all gung-ho and let’s do it!!! my body’s just not quite there yet.

I told you. Flippin’ Flexy-Vexy, man.

So what am I going to do about it? I’ll tell you what I’m going to do about it! Are you ready for this? I’m going to give myself a free pass. I know. I KNOW. You’re all like- but dude, that’s HORRIBLE, you should totally, like, try harder and stuff.

Well, thanks, dude. But here’s how I see it. This time in my life isn’t going to last forever. I will get better, and I will be able to go with the flow. (I am a pisces, after all- that’s what we do. We flow. And create. And have a horrible inability to make hard-and-fast decisions. TRUTH. Just ask my sister how many pairs of wedding shoes I bought and returned before the big day. Way more than a respectable amount.)

So this week, I’m trying this free pass on for size. Instead of beating myself up because I can’t go on a fancy date with my husband, I’m going to let myself be where I’m at, when I’m at it, until I’m not there anymore. Otherwise, I might get so Flexy-Vexied that I’d become a not very nice Foda. And we wouldn’t want that. No, we would NOT.

So if you’re in a rough spot like me where you life just isn’t conducive to being flexible… take the week off. Allow yourself to be inflexible. It may work for you. It may not. (Please note that being inflexible is not code for being beastly and demanding to those around you. Just wanna be clear here!) But hey- it’s worth a shot.

Un-flexingly yours,

The Foda

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