No, YOU’RE out of order!
Today’s Words of Wisdom:
“Judge not, lest ye be judged.”
~The Bible, Matthew 7:1
The Foda’s Take: Okay, great advice. But what about the “judgey-ness” that naturally happens- not from “me” unto “ye”- but rather a direct fight from me to me? Also known as self-deprecation. Or being hard on oneself. Or having goals. Or, you know, being alive.
Judgement day. It’s spoken of in various religions as a time of reckoning when our lifetime of choices and actions are shmushed together like a hodgepodge of variable puzzle pieces, put together in order to see what the overall picture will be when compiled. It’s why we’re told not to do bad things. Like lie. Or steal. Or pretend to have lost your Star Wars blu-ray box set because you can’t bare the thought of it leaving your house. (That last one is purely hypothetical, of course…..cough, cough) But when we think about being judged, it’s usually by another person. Like, you know, in a courtroom.
Judge: You’re out of order.
Lawyer: No, YOU’RE out of order! This whole courtroom is out of order!
Or something like that. But for a lot of us, the worst judge we can stand before is actually the one starting back at us in the mirror every morning. (Well, unless you’re Amish and you don’t believe in mirrors. But then, you don’t believe in electricity either. Which leads me to believe my Amish audience is quite minuscule for this blog.) But I digress.
Trying to look at the world- and ourselves- as we are, is a very difficult thing to do. Especially when we’re battling a chronic illness that chips away at our bodies, our positive spirit, and our blissful ignorance. Why? BECAUSE WE’RE FLIPPING SMART, THAT’S WHY!! We have big ol’ brains that can qualify and quantify and reason.
NEGATIVE NANCY:“Oh, that didn’t turn out too well for me before? Well, shucks, that must mean it probably won’t turn out too well for me this time, either.”
INSECURE INGRID: “My sister said I have a big nose when I was ten. Welp, I guess that’s never going to change! I mean, no one’s ever heard of growing into your face…”
UNDER-THE-RADAR RANDY: “That kid looks different, and he got teased, so I have to blend in, because there is no way I’m going to go through that!”
These are archetypes, people! And most likely, you’ve MET these people before. You may even BE these people. And the only reason why is because we, as humans, judge EVERYTHING. Our lives, our bodies, our reactions, even our thoughts. We section them away into little boxes, to make it easier to organize and understand our complicated lives.
But life is often not understandable. And boxes are meant to be opened.
So why this rant, you may ask? Well, because I do this, too. And I am DEVASTATINGLY aware of it. And going through life assuming how things will turn out before they even happen or holding yourself up to unrealistic standards (like getting down on yourself for being bad at frisbee golf when you play with your expert boyfriend for the first time, and, duh, you suck. Which you’re supposed to, unless you’re some crazy prodigy. Wait. What do you mean that’s an awfully specific example? I do not appreciate the insinuation you’re making! Judgey McJudgerson.)
But I digress. Again.
The point is, we’re a judgey society. So much so, I’m annoyed that “judgey” has a squiggly red line under it as I type it. GET WITH THE PROGRAM, SPELL CHECK! IT’S TOTALLY A WORD! And this judgey-ness needs to stop. Starting with ourselves.
Taking things for how they are at face value is a hard thing to do. We have all these experiences and memories we’ve learned from, so it would be foolish not to use them, right? Well, yeah. Until they start impacting on the moment, or make us assume things we’d never have assumed had we just stayed open and curious. And like I said, this is a huge thing for me. So I say all this with the utmost humility.
So on this lovely Sunday, I invite you to go all lovey-dovey on yourself, and stop judging. Especially if what you’re judging is where you are now compared to where you used to be before your chronic illness or personal trauma entered the picture.
Just don’t take it so far as to be completely devoid of all common sense. Holding up a liquor store does not qualify as “loving yourself.” That’s just stupid. And I will totally judge you for that.
Until next time,
<gavel bang on desk>
The Honorable Judge Foda