Today’s Words of Wisdom:
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart… Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
The Foda’s Take: I have a feeling that Carl Jung is also a pretty big believer in mindfulness.
Hi, everyone! So last week, Mandalf and I celebrated our three year wedding anniversary. This gave me a day where I could flip through old pictures, relive the most beautiful day of my life, and remember the moment we danced hand-in-hand into the reception as man and wife- to- I kid you not- the bombastic Star Wars theme. (Come on. With a handle like the Female Yoda, did you really think I wouldn’t marry a fellow Star Wars lover?) Yes, the wedding party proceeded us by boogying down to the Cantina Song. And yes, it was AWESOME. And no, I didn’t have my parents/in-laws come in to the Darth Vader theme song… although I’m pretty sure it was discussed… all in good fun, of course… But I digress.
Now, when you’re dealing with a chronic illness, special occasions can sometimes be tough- you know how you’d want to celebrate, but sometimes what you want and what you’ve got to work with just aren’t in the same realm. For example, Mandalf asked me what I wanted to do- and what I wanted to do was hop on a plane and spend the day drinking margaritas and eating shrimp tacos on a beach in San Diego. But considering my current capabilities? Not an option.
So the night before, knowing I didn’t want to spend our special day being sad that I couldn’t celebrate it the way I would have if I was healthy, I made a choice. I could either focus on all the things I had and could do, or on the one thing I didn’t have and wanted more than anything. I chose to focus on what I could do. And it was a wonderful day.
So often, when we have something that we want so incredibly desperately, it’s easy to feel like nothing else will make us happy until we get it. And I fall into this trap a lot. So I get it. But over the past several days, I’ve been struck by just how much energy goes into moping and pining after something out of your control. And considering how I have a very limited amount of energy to begin with, shouldn’t I be spending it on things that can make me happy right now? Consequently, the past several days have been some of the most productive I’ve had in a while. (Closing in on finishing draft three of my fantasy novel! Woohoo!)
I know special occasions are going to continue to be bittersweet while my life is in this holding pattern. I get that. But I’m starting to really believe that you can still move forward while your life stays “stuck.”